nikkimountain

Hello

2008-01-09T12:59:00.000-05:00

Hi All

I'm back from my lucid dream...,, with a vengance...

100ULTRA The Best Dating Site On The Web( Attractive single women!)

2007-05-02T14:22:00.000-04:00

100ULTRA Dating Site- Owned And Operated By 100 Attractive Single Women-

ABOUT US

Why is membership in 100ULTRA.com growing at such an amazing rate and soon to be the Number One site on today's online dating scene? The most obvious reason - it features only the most attractive ladies from all over the world!

We are credited with creating a tasteful and respectable place for serious people from all walks of life who are seeking not only love but lasting companionship, friendship, as well as contacts for networking. With some of the most beautiful singles available on the dating circuit, our stylish site was tailor-made to limit your search for people who are seeking only the best from an online dating experience.

OUR PHILOSOPHY

It is our mission to provide a platform to connect people quickly, efficiently, and hassle free. We want this to be fun for our members, not work! We provide answers for those people looking to find the simplest and most effective way to enrich their personal lives.

SERVICE

We strive for excellence. Our site operates at optimum speed and is easy to navigate. It was designed to be hassle free - especially for the professionals who simply do not wish to squander their time trying to "figure out" the site. We use cutting edge technology and software to differentiate our site from those that are full of spy-ware and spam. Our site is not littered with tacky, unreadable advertisements - we advertise as well our ULTRA line of products, our Lounges, Style, Tunes and our online Magazine featuring spectacular photos of ULTRA members and of course, our “ULTRA” girl of the month. We only advertise products we like ourselves and those that may be of interest to our clients.

MEMBERSHIP

Our members are judged for acceptance on the site by a vote of their peers. Membership for women is always free and men who decide to join us receive one of the most competitive rates available on the net.

The cost is $3.99 US$ per week. We believe that a flat rate is more beneficial to our clients – in terms of time, energy, and financial commitment. We do not support the "fee for every message/credits" theory.

100ULTRA FUN FACTS

We will be having launch parties at our up - scale lounges and are planning to integrate dating events into the roster in the near future. We will be giving away some amazing prizes: The 100,000 “ULTRA” girl will receive the use of a brand new Ferrari for a period of two years. The 100,000 subscriber will receive the keys to a brand new Harley Davidson and there will be weekly and weekend get-away prizes for two to exciting destinations!

DATING STATISTICS

Over 44% of all adult Americans are single – which means there are over 100 million unattached singles out there! Of those, only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men say they have found a serious relationship at a bar or club.

If you're into online dating, you're not the only one: there are about 40 million Americans (that’s about 40% of the entire dating pool) and 2.1 million Canadians.

Online dating statistics from a recent survey by The Sunday Times indicate that
"…email relationships can be far more intimate than normal dating. Women are most likely to find a potential lover online, with 72% admitting to having had an online romance compared to 52% of men. The online dating statistics report also found that 33% of all online relationships led to a date."

FIND YOUR 100ULTRA MATCH

Get started today! Start looking for love right from our homepage. It's free for women but everyone can browse the site to their heart’s content. It's easy and it’s the best way to experience what we have to offer!

If you like what you see, please visit

100ULTRA The Best Dating Site On The Web

and apply to become a member! It could be the start of a dramatic, wonderful improvement in your personal and professional life.

ULTRA ENTERPRISES INC.
info@100ultra.com
647-242-3999

Great Weekend With My Little Monkey

2006-06-18T20:18:00.000-04:00

Highwayman

2006-05-17T10:45:00.000-04:00

I listen to this song every morining in the car.The lyrics and Johnny Cash's voice give me goosebumps. Sure as the sun will rise tommorow ,I'll get butterflies everytime I hear the Boulder Colorado verse. The entire last verse makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. If you havent heard this song or cant recall it, you MUST hear it. I hate country, but this isnt country,, this is CASH.

HIGWAYMAN-Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings

I was a highwayman. Along the coach roads I did ride
With sword and pistol by my side
Many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade
Many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade
The bastards hung me in the spring of twenty-five
But I am still alive.

I was a sailor. I was born upon the tide
And with the sea I did abide.
I sailed a schooner round the Horn to Mexico
I went aloft and furled the mainsail in a blow
And when the yards broke off they said that I got killed
But I am living still.

I was a dam builder across the river deep and wide
Where steel and water did collide
A place called Boulder on the wild Colorado
I slipped and fell into the wet concrete below
They buried me in that great tomb that knows no sound
But I am still around..I'll always be around..and around and around and
around and around

I fly a starship across the Universe divide
And when I reach the other side
I'll find a place to rest my spirit if I can
Perhaps I may become a highwayman again
Or I may simply be a single drop of rain
But I will remain
And I'll be back again, and again and again and again and again..

Writing

2006-05-09T23:05:00.000-04:00

I am currently working with two writers and a producer on a film and will not be blogging much in the coming months. God knows I love to blog about nothing in particular, however my new project is now consuming all of my creative banwidth. I'll try to drop a line when I can. For now Miss Nikki is on hiatus.

meeee and bobby mageeee last weekend

2006-04-26T01:43:00.000-04:00

Searching For A Home In Oakville

2006-04-21T18:43:00.000-04:00

Well recently I decided I am going to move to Oakville. So with my wonderful a.d.d at work I'm online looking up information on Oakville real estate when I stumble upon this very cool site.

Oakville Galleries

Being an amature artist and having a little artistic knowledge and a great love of exhibits I went off into the exhibition column. Some very interesting stuff there.

Clues and Curiosities

(The Floating House) caught my attention.
Definately very, very cool. So I think I might go back and explore the site to its full extent. God life is great when youve got the internet for cheap entertainment.

Well..

2006-04-09T19:06:00.000-04:00

Talk about being ill. I have a cold that just knocked me on my ass for 2 days. Taking nyquil and passing out shortly.
I think I might start blogging again shortly. Time to take a hiatus. Need a little alone time. Must decompress..

Laurieann and I are in Montreal

2006-04-07T00:26:00.000-04:00

Saturday Night Was Alright!

2006-03-28T17:09:00.000-05:00

Party With Clive Owen In Streetsville Tonight

2006-03-25T14:01:00.000-05:00

Well this should be interesting.....I'll explain tommorrow.
UPDATE: So Clives stunt double had a birthday party..Alot of stuntmen and crew, but Clive was a no show, haha. Big suprise.
Regardless we had an amazing time! I'll see if i can get in on the wrap party!

Havent Been Blogging

2006-03-24T21:29:00.001-05:00

Ive been having so much fun that I have almost left a part of me behind in the haze. When the world is spinning its easy to lose yourself. Its easy to forget who you are. Then one day you wake up when all is quiet, and its almost frightening. You open your eyes and your shadow is standing next to you, looking the same as it always has. Your conscience is rattling your brain with the same questions its been asking all along. With nothing to do but pace the room you get a sudden urge to look in the mirror, and then you realize that youve been living the good life all this time without even knowing it.

Loving This CD..

2006-03-24T21:24:00.000-05:00

2006-03-19T16:32:00.000-05:00

Killing some time before my flight this eve. I cannot wait to post the photos from NYC and Dominican..I think Ive just had the best 2 weeks of my life!

Lobotomized

2006-03-17T13:46:00.000-05:00

Writing from Dominican..Not able to post photos yet.

I am quite hungover today, sunburned, and completely brain dead. Hence why I am on this pc. Brief detox.. I am going to need Betty Ford after this trip. Well Ill be posting an absolute ton of photos from NYC and Dominican when I return Monday....

Vacation Time

2006-03-03T14:40:00.001-05:00

March 11th.. I'll be 29 going on 28..( that wasnt a typo either) on the 12th My sister and I are going away for a week march break. Palm trees, sandy beach and pina coladas!!! I love my life!!

What music is playing in your car?

2006-02-24T13:09:00.000-05:00

My ipod car playlist this week issssssssssss.....

Transmission- The Joy Division
I could have lied- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Everyone says hi- David Bowie
Making plans for Nigel- XTC
Stop me if you think that youve heard this one before- the Smiths
A forest ( deep forest remix)- The Cure
Condemnation-Depeche Mode
Streets of Philadelphia- Bruce Springsteen
One thing leads to another- The Fixx
PS- James Laid
Still Ill- The Smiths
Sade- The Sweetest Taboo
Brass In Pocket- The Pretenders
When the levee breaks- A Perfect Circle
Can't you hear me knockin'-Rolling Stones
Jane says- Janes Addiction
Monkey gone to heaven- The Pixies
Peace frogs- The Doors
The future- Leonard Cohen
One of my turns- Pink Floyd
Where have all the cowboys gone- Paula Cole
Aint no sunshine- Bill Withers
The beautiful ones- Prince
Someone must get hurt- She Wants Revenge
Hurt- Johnny Cash

Under the influence....

2006-02-21T21:16:00.000-05:00

2006-02-15T04:09:00.000-05:00

Happy Hallmark day!

2006-02-14T12:58:00.000-05:00

Normally I dont follow celebrity gossip, but this site is hilarious...

2006-02-12T03:26:00.000-05:00

The Superficial.com

Pink Floyd

2006-02-12T03:17:00.000-05:00

Its one of those Pink days....

High Hopes

Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun

Along the Long Road and on down the Causeway
Do they still meet there by the Cut

There was a ragged band that followed our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by force of some inner tide

At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world

Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
Though down this road we've been so many times

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist growing
The water flowing
The endless river

2006-02-10T02:10:00.000-05:00

We're now on pause...
and you're about to return to your Lucid Dream.
With all the upgrades...
You won't remember any of this...
nor will you be charged for technical support.
It's now your moment of choice.
You can return to your Lucid Dream and live a beautiful life...
with Sofia or whomever you wish...
or you can choose the world out there.

Sanctuary for the Antisocialist...(man in thong not included)

2006-02-09T03:08:00.000-05:00

Sensory Deprivation Tank

Name That Ass

2006-02-02T21:41:00.000-05:00

UPDATE: This IS Jon Bon Jovis bum.
My friend sent me this today...
He was born In Jersey. He is now on tour...
Who's ass is this?

Still Love The Cure!!!!

2006-02-02T16:48:00.000-05:00

The Cure made Some of THE coolest videos. I'm telling you.....This dvd is a MUST own for any Cure fan out there. My personal favorite is Lullaby.

Backmaskonline.com

2006-02-01T15:54:00.000-05:00

You know you have too much time on your hands when you're listening to hidden messages from old records.

Cookers

2006-01-31T20:20:00.000-05:00

This is the first low budget movie I've seen in a long time that actually had me at the edge of my seat. This movie is wild!!!!

Diagnose me

2006-01-28T11:26:00.000-05:00

mental_illness, mental_disease, psychopathy
Definition: Any disease of the mind; the psychological state of someone who has emotional or behavioral problems serious enough to require psychiatric intervention
-- Acute stress disorder .......check
-- Adjustment disorders .......check
-- Alcohol and substance abuse.... only "recreationally"
-- Amnesia.......when its convinient
-- Anxiety disorders...............check
-- Antisocial personality disorder.........absolutely
-- Attention deficit disorder..........HUGE CHECK..
-- Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder
-- Avoidant personality disorder........only when it comes to bill collectors, ex boyfriends, or stalkers
-- Bipolar disorder ....well thats debatable..
-- Borderline personality disorder ........check
-- Brief psychotic disorder.......only briefly
-- Cannabis addiction....No...thats probably the problem
-- Conduct disorder ......only sexually
-- Conversion disorder.....Ok this is communist..how dare they?
-- Delusional disorder...Oh you mean like actually believeing the guy you're with is faithful?
-- Dependent personality disorder.....check
-- Depersonalization disorder.....only if I were to go to bed with a 10 and wake up with a 2 .....which ofcourse I never do
-- Depression.....CHECK.... thats called single during holidays
-- Disorder of written expression.....this blog will answer that
-- Dissociative identity disorder ....do you know any teenager who didnt have this? .....I still have it
-- Enuresis (bedwetting) ....Only once....Thanks for the Tequila Mexico
-- Exhibitionism..... If this is a disorder..well it all makes sense now.
-- Expressive language disorder..... Check, yes sometimes I forget to say "Mother" before "Fucker"
-- Female and male orgasmic disorders..apperently since I am a female and I am able to orgasm....I'de say thats a disorder?
-- Fetishism....... CHECK
-- Generalized anxiety disorder..... check
-- General adaptation syndrome...Check...I have never adapted to the fact that the government is corrupt, politicians are liars, kids are starving in Africa, etc etc...Can't think about it or I'll Have a "Panic Attack"
-- Intermittent explosive disorder.......I'm female..I get PMS..and I date men.. CHECK
-- Kleptomania...Only mens hearts.....and their balls
-- Down syndrome.......red bull and vodka
-- Mania.....is that the feeling I get when I am shoe shopping?
-- Mathematics disorder....Holy shit.... why didnt they just name this female disorder?
-- Mental retardation....only while hungover
-Multiple personality disorder....No But that would be kind of cool.
-- Narcissistic personality disorder....According to everyone else.. check
-- Narcolepsy
-- Nightmare disorder.. Yeah I don't have enough of them...
-- Obsessive-compulsive disorder...like listening to the joy division song "Disorder" 10 times in a row?
-- Oppositional defiant disorder .....Well my family and friends might check this one for me
-- Pain disorder.......check... its called dating
-- Panic attacks ....check.....reality=panic attacks
-- Paranoid personality disorder....no way.. I'm like a shark when it comes to fear
-- Pathological gambling......yep
-- Post-traumatic stress disorder .....aka post relationship disorder
-- Premature ejaculation...yeah but im allowed...you're not
-- Primary insomnia.....check
-- Psychotic disorder, not otherwise specified...Well If I was Psychotic I wouldnt know I was psychotic so I cant answer that
-- Pyromania......only when it comes to bills
-- Reading disorder " "
-- Separation anxiety disorder.....yes when it comes to my money
-- Sexual Masochism and Sadism.......I plead the fifth...damn I'm Canadian, ok so just assume I'm busy sharpening my ice skates and leave it at that
-- Shared psychotic disorder....Isnt that called marriage?
-- Sleepwalking disorder.....check... this excuse comes in really handy
-- Social phobia....check..since the goverment makes up 1/2 of the population
-- Specific phobias....yep.. the male species
-- Stuttering....Only when I lie.....
-- Tourette syndrome.....check Tell your family you have tourettes and you can swear like a trucker at family functions and get away with it
-- Voyeurism.. not yet....

Sushi

2006-01-26T23:15:00.000-05:00

Lately I have had relentless cravings for sushi. I am eating, breathing, and dreaming sushi. I had a dream that sashimi were falling from the sky...It went from once every few months, to once a month, to once a week, to four times a week. Eating it four times a week seems fairly restrained considering that I'm craving it on a daily basis!!!!! My God, pretty soon I am going to grow scales and my legs are going to mutate into a fish tail. So I looked it up on the internet to see if there were any other sushi addicts, like maybe there is a program for it called SA, or something! I found that there is actually a movie called True Confessions of a Sushi Addict?! Wtf?! What are they putting in this stuff?

True Confessions of a Sushi Addict

These Days....

2006-01-25T01:26:00.000-05:00

I've been totally happy....happier than ever. You know what that means right?
That means I've become boring. I'm only interesting when I'm ready to do a face dive off of a cliff.

A Short Insight...Plato

2006-01-24T18:43:00.000-05:00

QuickPost from FotoFlix

2006-01-24T00:31:00.000-05:00

Posted by nikki

714 Things to be Cynical About

2006-01-23T22:53:00.000-05:00

leaders
followers
outlaws
lawyers
backstabbers
brown-nosers
yes-men
middlemen
alpha males
women who try to be alpha males
good ol' boys who become president
bimbos who become celebrities
all other celebrities
prima donnas
dictators
people who take dictation
workaholics
slackers who pretend to be workaholics
slackers who don't pretend to be workaholics
hypocrites
charlatans
MBAs
mindless office drones who get promoted to management
conformists
nonconformists
poseurs
people who use pretentious French words
bores
boors
weasels
barracudas
pedophile priests
leeches
internal parasites
investment bankers
old-money snobs
new-money snobs
fashion snobs
food snobs
health-and-fitness snobs
"I'm hipper than you'll ever be in your dreams" snobs
upwardly-mobile career snobs
"team players"
negotiators
the fine print
broken contracts
overbooked flights
canceled concerts
annulled marriages
returned gifts
recalled automobiles
planned obsolescence
knowing that your two-year-old $2000 computer is now a mere toy
$500 electronic handheld organizers that are almost as efficient as $30 loose-leaf organizers
27-year-old Silicon Valley millionaires
computer literacy replacing literary literacy
computer viruses
software bugs
unfathomable computer video games that are instantly mastered by subliterate pre-adolescents
the values instilled by video games (if it gets in your way, nuke it)
thinking about a future society run by people nurtured on video games
watching helplessly as a full day's work is eaten alive by your PC
watching the hourglass hang for two, three, four minutes
"application has stopped responding to the system"
"server does not have a DNS entry"
spending three hours on the internet in a futile search for information
the fact that you could have obtained the information in three minutes by opening a book
the proliferation of websites featuring naked people exchanging bodily fluids
the fact that those websites are more popular than yours or mine
spam! spam! spam! spam!
losing half our free time to internet addiction
losing most of our day to meaningless work
having to play office politics
having to play golf with your superiors
the term "superiors"
the term "subordinates"
cubicles and other sensory deprivation cells
people who thrive in cubicles
people who thrive on 14-hour workdays
people who take their cell phones on vacation
"A" students who end up working for "C" students
"It takes money to make money"
"It's not what you know, it's who you know"
the "power words" used on resumes to impress employers
the fact that employers are impressed with power words on resumes
college graduates who have to settle for a job at Blockbuster
the salaries of liberal arts graduates in the business world
the miseries of liberal arts graduates in the business world
prostituting yourself for less than a prostitute makes
staying at a job you detest because the alternatives are even worse
people who get promoted on the basis of the right shoes or haircut
people who get promoted because they resemble their vice president
executive bonuses that exceed your annual salary
the "fast track"
the "glass ceiling"
being underemployed
being overworked
being reprimanded
being ignored
being framed
being demoted
being moved into the hallway
watching everyone but you rise to the level of their incompetence
the annual incomes of CEOs
the writing ability of CEOs
multimillion-dollar "golden parachutes" awarded to dismissed CEOs
the practice of terminating veteran employees a year before retirement
the term "terminating"
"leveraging"
"targeting"
"impacting"
calling downsizing "rightsizing"
downsizing profitable companies for the sole purpose of wooing investors
the fact that investors reward companies for downsizing
the fact that companies now exist primarily to woo investors
bonuses and stock options for executives who "trimmed the fat"
diet plans -- all 2,178 of them
joggers who perform ostentatious stretching exercises in public places
fitness zealots who carry hand weights when they walk
self-infatuated bodybuilders who know all their muscles by name
health-food fanatics who faint at the sight of a cheeseburger
health-food fanatics who smoke
anorexia nervosa (just put the food in your mouth and CHEW!)
restaurant patrons who send back perfectly edible food to impress their dinner dates
snippy waiters who would rather be snippy actors
waiters who tell you their name, call themselves "servers," and expect a 25% tip
waiting half an hour for a salad
waiting twenty minutes for your check
fussy, oily yuppie cuisine
anything with pesto sauce
"herbed" anything
"fruited" anything
anything with ingredients that require you to consult a glossary
gated communities
$600,000 yuppie homes on 1/4-acre lots
yuppie parents jockeying to get their child into a prestigious nursery school
the growing gap between haves and have-nots
doctors marrying doctors
lawyers marrying lawyers
men marrying men
computer geeks marrying computer geeks
professional jargon: the Tower of Babel revisited
the fact that people expect you to understand their jargon
"newspeak"
"groupthink"
"Big Brother is watching you"
totalitarianism
mass movements
mass media
mass murder
mass marketing
telemarketing
the pathetic scripts read by poor underpaid telemarketing agents
saying "yes" so we don't hurt the poor underpaid telemarketing agent's feelings
junk mail
the time we spend sorting through junk mail
the fact that junk mail is written by people who wanted to be writers
"Urgent: Reply Requested!"
"You may already have won!"
"If you're the winner, we will say MR. OCCUPANT HAS WON $9,000,000.00!"
"A special offer exclusively for Mr. Occupant"
"No strings attached!"
"FREE GIFT!"
"FREE TRIAL OFFER!"
televised trials
medieval trials (if you drown, you're innocent; if you float, you're guilty)
the irrelevance of the truth in all trials
jury rigging
plea bargaining
murderers acquitted because their side had smarter lawyers
innocent people sentenced because the OTHER side had smarter lawyers
convicted murderers paroled after serving six months of a life sentence
prisons that offer free education, VCRs, and complimentary mints on the pillows
legal loopholes
divorce settlements (both spouses lose; both lawyers win)
lawsuits by people who spill coffee on themselves
lawyers who encourage lawsuits by people who spill coffee on themselves
the absurd amounts of money awarded to people who spill coffee on themselves
the absurd amounts of money awarded to lawyers who prosecute lawsuits by people who spill coffee on themselves
the cost of private medical care
the tyranny of managed medical care
the inefficiency of public medical care
dying during a tonsillectomy
the fact that your death will be referred to as a "negative patient healthcare outcome"
health insurance companies that force hospitals to release patients as soon as the anesthesia wears off
health insurance being denied to the people most likely to get sick
health insurance as a capitalist enterprise
health insurance that covers 80% of a $500,000 medical bill
having a heart attack two days after your health insurance expires
the effects of age and gravity on the human body
shrinking from your original height
going senile
losing control of your bladder as a reward for reaching old age
drugs whose side effects are worse than the disease
cancer: opportunism incarnate
dandruff
gout
flatulence
herpes
psoriasis
Alzheimer's disease
Tourette's syndrome
St. Vitus' dance
hemorrhoids
chronic sinusitis
yeast infections
athlete's foot
gum disease
crotch rot
mad cow disease
elephantiasis
crabs
male-pattern baldness
irritable bowel syndrome
having to worry about your blood pressure and cholesterol
the fact that worrying about your blood pressure and cholesterol will probably raise both of them
the fact that virtually everything that tastes good can kill you
subsisting on granola only to find that it contains more saturated fat than two Big Macs
the wretchedness of heart-healthy diets (we are not RABBITS!)
regaining more weight after a diet than you lost during it
people who watch their fat intake and keel over at 47
people who eat lard, smoke two packs a day, and live to be 97
the likelihood that the survivors were also much HAPPIER during their long lives
suspecting that you'll be more like #221 than #222
the smugness of lucky people
the smugness of high-school in-crowders
the even worse smugness of art-world in-crowders
the empty pretentiousness of most modern art
performance artists: street loonies with foundation grants
artists who gain attention by exhibiting their own bodily excretions
artists who pass off collections of scrap metal as sculpture -- and have them deposited on idyllic college campuses
artists who decorate an empty canvas with one horizontal stripe
art critics who see profound meaning in an empty canvas with one horizontal stripe
movie critics who give rave reviews to bad films so their names will appear in newspaper ads
critics who call every passable film or play a "masterpiece"
critics who trash a film, play or book for the chance to turn a clever phrase
designated bestsellers stacked four feet high in the bookstore window
good books going out of print because nobody knows about them
nondescript chain bookstores driving out quirky independent bookstores
celebrity authors who earn more for one ghostwritten book than 100 editors make in a year
the state of publishing today
the state of Nevada
sleaze
bogus fun
bogus ANYTHING
breast implants
sex-change operations
bad toupees
good toupees
blazing white dentures
used-car dealers
chain letters
pyramid schemes
people who refer to pyramid schemes as "multi-level marketing"
euphemisms like "differently abled" and "mentally challenged"
oxymorons like "military intelligence" and "corporate culture"
"Catch-22" situations; e.g., "you can't get a job unless you already have a job"
millionaire ballplayers who grumble about their salaries
artificial turf, polyester uniforms, costumed mascots and other tackiness on the field
team owners who fire managers for losing the World Series
free agents who jump from team to team like hungry fleas
boxers who bite off their opponents' ears or other body parts
"great white hopes" = great white dopes
college football teams made up of convicted felons
pro football players who either strut ostentatiously or pray ostentatiously each time they score a touchdown
female sports reporters allowed into men's locker rooms
male sports reporters allowed into women's locker rooms (as if!)
sports teams with singular names; e.g., the Utah Jazz
sports teams with absurdly incongruous names; e.g., the Utah Jazz
sports parents who browbeat their kids for screwing up on the field
asinine chants of "We're #1!" (Americans always have to be #1)
sports fanatics who live vicariously through their teams
nerds who live vicariously through "Star Trek"
anyone who lives vicariously through any soap opera
celebrity worship
wealth without taste
taste without wealth
shamelsss celebrity promotional vehicles like "Entertainment Tonight"
John Tesh, shameless composer
"Candle in the Wind"
eulogies delivered by clergymen who didn't know the deceased
how we forget good people after their deaths and remember Attila the Hun
Gresham's Law: the bad drives out the good
the worldwide triumph of cockroaches
the worldwide triumph of rats
the worldwide triumph of American popular culture
absurd foreign imitations of American popular culture: Russian nightclubs, Czech rock groups, Japanese jazz bands, Turkish soap operas
the profitability of bad taste
the bad taste graveyard: disco, leisure suits, velvet clown paintings
pinkie rings and gold chains on wealthy building contractors
bad art in hotel/motel rooms
the fact that those bad artists can afford to stay in hotels with GOOD art
romance novels with Fabio on the cover
Elvis and Princess Diana collectibles
the fact that the majority of autographed sports collectibles are fakes
the need to purchase separate shoes for walking, jogging, tennis and basketball
selling advertising space on anything that doesn't move and some things that DO (buses, stock cars, Olympic athletes)
people who sell cemetery plots or penny stocks over the phone
ingenious high-pressure sales tactics that make us feel stupid if we say "no" and even stupider after we say "yes"
buying things on sale: spending money to save money
annual "going out of business" sales
people who spend an hour clipping coupons so they can save 87 cents
receiving Christmas catalogs in August
discovering there's no Santa Claus
the ugly, insanely popular, hard-to-obtain toys that parents must buy to appease their children
the fact that parents NEED to appease their own children
cheap toys with hundreds of dollars worth of accessories to buy
toys merchandised as movie tie-ins
the licensing of dead celebrities
people who gain an identity by wearing t-shirts with commercial logos
"As seen on TV!"
the bewildering success of home shopping channels ("Who would ever watch nonstop commercials?," asked the cynic)
infomercials for psychic hotlines, motivational tapes, exercise machines and baldness remedies
people who have nothing better to do at night than watch infomercials
people who promise they'll call but never do
people who complain because you promised to call but never do
people who ask "How are you?" but don't really want to know
people who make you miserable
the fact that you ALLOW people to make you miserable
that luck is definitely a factor in getting what you want
that you can make your own luck but nobody tells you how
being unlucky in love
being unlucky in the stock market
stocks that plummet after you buy them
stocks that go through the roof after you sell them
having to pay your broker a commission on losing stocks
the fact that your broker has no incentive to sell you WINNING stocks as long as you pay a commission on losing stocks
the fact that the entire economy of the free world is in the hands of gamblers
lotteries
sweepstakes
church bingo
casinos
Wall Street, the world's biggest casino
that American Indians have to operate casinos to survive
Las Vegas
lounge acts
Frank Sinatra after 1970
pop music after 1970
life after 1970
striving
giving up
promises
betrayals
excuses
prejudice against fat people
prejudice against dark-skinned people
prejudice against excessively stupid and excessively intelligent people
prejudice against people with big noses
prejudice against ugly women
prejudice against gentle men
"all men are created equal"
"the pursuit of happiness"
chronic disappointment
expecting rewards in the hereafter
the apparent indifference of God
the possibility that God is a myth
the possibility that God is a crank
the possibility that God is a jokester
the prevalence of unbelieving theologians: NOT a good sign
the perverse intelligence of inanimate objects that roll just out of reach
boxtops that tear as you open them
paper grocery bags that tear when they're full of glass jars
toilet paper that tears as you use it
price labels that won't come off without tearing the product
plastic bags you have to open with your teeth
"twist-off" bottlecaps that rip your fingers
VCRs so complicated that you need an engineering degree to program them
500 channels and nothing you want to watch
electronic gadgets that come with incoherent instructions written by well- intentioned Asians
major appliances that break down two days after the warranty expires
traffic lights that are programmed to turn red as soon as you arrive from the previous red light
picking the shortest line at a toll booth or supermarket checkout -- and watching the others pass you by
playing by the rules and watching the outlaws pass you by
man's treachery toward his fellow-creatures
raising and nurturing good-natured cows, pigs and chickens so they can become DINNER
killing rhinos for their horns
killing elephants for their tusks
killing baby seals for their fur
killing employees for their productivity
the National Rifle Association
the fact that it's easier in the U.S. to obtain handguns than Cuban cigars
the oil cartel
U.S. alliances and wars motivated by the sweet smell of oil
the tobacco industry profiting from the slow suicides of smokers
people who start smoking to be cool, then sue tobacco companies when they develop lung cancer
the fact that tobacco ever caught on in the first place ("Why would anyone stick burning leaves in his mouth?," asked the cynic)
the fact that tobacco is more profitable than book publishing
the fact that nearly ANY industry is more profitable than book publishing
exploitation of resources, including human resources
the term "human resources" (we are not BAUXITE!)
billion-dollar sportswear companies that profit from exploiting child labor
clear-cutting the rainforests to make room for McDonald's beef cattle
excessive hysteria over snail darters and northern spotted owls
insufficient hysteria over the approaching extinction of tigers, pandas, gorillas and other first-rate mammals
Greenpeace (skip the '60s poetics -- just tell us what you do)
war
Pentagon spending habits; e.g., $640 toilet seats and $76 screws
the contractors who charge $640 per toilet seat and $76 per screw
being drafted
boot camp: sadomasochism as a character-builder
being expected to die for a country you can't locate on a map
bombing the wrong village
being killed by "friendly fire"
being killed one day before the truce is signed
being hit by a bus one day after returning to civilian life
the raunchy brutality of urban life
drug pushers
street gangs
rapists
carjackers
slumlords
racketeers
panhandlers
muggers who shoot you for a cigarette or a pair of sneakers
welfare mothers raising FUTURE welfare mothers
welfare fathers who sire six children by six different women
ghetto dwellers blaming their problems on racism
middle-class blacks encountering REAL racism when they move out of the ghetto
the fact that most stereotypes contain a grain of truth that keeps them alive: emotional Italians; smart, aggressive Jews; hot-blooded Latins; beguiling, hard-drinking Irish; disciplined, regimented Germans and Japanese; inbred rednecks
not being allowed to say that blacks have rhythm or superior athletic skill -- despite all the compelling evidence in their favor
not being allowed to talk about Jewish cultural influence -- despite the likelihood that the 20th century will be remembered as a Jewish Renaissance
the fact that Jewish sensitivities may have been conditioned by 2000 years of nonstop anti-Semitism
"Some of my best friends are [fill in the blank]"
the fact that every oppressed minority group likes to think it suffered more than every other oppressed minority group
Holocaust museums, AIDS quilts and other public statements of victimhood
the fact that we still NEED Holocaust museums, AIDS quilts and other public statements of victimhood
symbolic protests with live people masquerading as dead bodies
demands of amnesty by whining political agitators (if you don't want to be arrested, don't commit a crime)
'60s radicals who used the Vietnam War as an excuse to promote Marxism
'60s radicals who became Wall Street tycoons
'60s radicals who still wear tie-dyed shirts and sandals
liberals whose friends are exclusively upper-middle class
conservatives whose friends are exclusively upper-middle class
capitalism
communism
socialism
fascism
commericialism
terrorism
male chauvinism
female chauvinism
plagiarism
optimism
Freudianism
psychoanalysts who keep their patients coming back for 20 years
patients who still hope for a cure after being psychoanalyzed for 20 years
group therapy: a less expensive cure that doesn't work
electroshock therapy: a quicker cure that doesn't work
finally going crazy
psychiatrists who are crazier than their patients
finding happiness only after getting a lobotomy
being labeled a "former mental patient" for life
"sensitivity" training and other forms of brainwashing
psychobabble: the standardization of introspection
codependency and other pop-psychology concepts designed to sell books
the fact that there wouldn't be so many self-help books if any of them worked
anyone associated with the O.J. Simpson trial who wrote a book
O.J. Simpson
20-year-old Hollywood starlets who form their own production companies
Hollywood agents of any age
the "A" list for Hollywood parties
the people who decide who's on the "A" list
Hollywood movies after "Star Wars"
blockbusters
sequels to blockbusters
bad movies based on old TV shows
the fact that those bad movies become blockbusters anyway
Julia Roberts, highest-paid film actress of all time
The fact that the highest-paid actress used to be Demi Moore until Julia Roberts replaced her
the fact that it would take the average U.S. worker more than six centuries to earn what the top male stars receive for one film
the fact that Michael Ovitz received five times that much when he was fired from Disney
the fact that Michael Eisner received more than five times as much as Ovitz in ONE DAY, when he cashed in his Disney stock options
the symbolism of Pia Zadora buying and demolishing Pickfair, once the grandest mansion in Beverly Hills
overreliance on special effects in mainstream Hollywood films
too much @$&#*!% profanity in mainstream Hollywood films
knee-jerk contempt for religion in mainstream Hollywood films
knee-jerk contempt for Hollywood by the religious right
films that depict Jesus as a blue-eyed Nordic
"To him that hath, more shall be given"
the old-boy network
the tendency of high-school in-crowders to become adult in-crowders
being snubbed by the in-crowd because of your looks, clothes, taste in music, or weird family
being snubbed by a friend in the presence of in-crowders
teachers who embarrass you in front of the entire class
students who embarrass teachers in front of the entire class
homework in every subject
teachers' pets
the worship of student athletes (except in cross-country, wrestling, golf and fencing)
cheerleaders
the importance of being selected as a cheerleader
parents who murder cheerleaders who were selected over their own kids
wanting to be considered cool: the root of all teenage vices
the inexplicable vogue for multiple pierced body parts, including tongues
peer pressure (ask any lemming)
being taunted for being virtuous
having to worry that you're gay if you're still a virgin at 18
having to think your entire future will be determined by your college board scores
being rejected by your #1 college
being rejected by your #2 college
being rejected by every college except your "safety" school
being rejected by your "safety" school
going to your #1 college -- and hating it
bickering with the college administration
crass college students who major in merchandising or finance
idealistic college students who major in history, philosophy or French (turn back before the world devours you!)
being stuck with a roommate from hell
the hell you have to go through to pledge a fraternity
fraternities in general
sororities in general
fraternity boys who become top executives
private university graduates who look down on state university graduates
state university graduates who look down on state college graduates
state college graduates who look down on community college graduates
high school dropouts who earn more than all of them
mom-and-pop businesses driven out by shopping malls
mom-and-pop businesses driven out by designer boutiques and tattoo parlors
what it takes to succeed
motivational seminars that promise easy success
the fact that the easiest way to succeed is to give motivational seminars
consulting: the art of succeeding while unemployed
the success of writers and artists who sell out
the wretchedness of writers and artists who don't
tenure for scholars: freedom to be mediocre
being denied tenure
semiotics, deconstructionism, and similar vehicles for academic obfuscation
Afrocentrism (sorry, the Egyptians weren't black)
Women's Studies (sorry, women aren't an ethnic group)
the shameful exclusion of non-Western cultures from old history textbooks
the overemphasis on non-Western cultures in current textbooks
the term "Third World" ("How come we never hear about the First and Second Worlds?," asked the cynic)
Montezuma's revenge
what the Spaniards did to Montezuma
trying to convert the heathens
selling refrigerators to Eskimos
having to call Eskimos "Inuit"
having to call Burma "Myanmar"
having to call Dave Barry "America's favorite humorist"
the fact that Tom Cruise is more famous than John Adams or Charlemagne
the fact that MTV is more famous than the 3,000-year-old nation of Armenia
Planet Hollywood
the Hard Rock Cafe
gawking tourists who wear Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts
paparazzi
supermarket tabloids
people who buy tabloids and complain about paparazzi
Calvin Klein ads (what exactly are we selling here?)
reading about the triumphs of the shallow in "People" magazine
the term "beautiful people" used without irony
chic: the triumph of style over substance
55-year-old celebrities who try to look 30
cosmetic surgery
Michael Jackson, self-made alien
Michael Jackson's marriages
Michael Jackson's peculiar friendship with Elizabeth Taylor
Elizabeth Taylor's marriages
the publicity uses of entering the Betty Ford Clinic
alcoholism as a "disease"
gambling as a "disease"
AIDS as a "civil rights issue"
the sad last days of discarded celebrities
tabloids that exploit the sad last days of discarded celebrities
the woes of former child stars
the warped ambitions of stage parents
the futile ambitions of would-be writers
the fact that nobody reads literature anymore
the fact that Walt Disney World is the biggest single tourist attraction in the U.S.
the disappearance of classical music radio stations
the perplexing success of the ugliest pop music
the inevitable triumph of energy over refinement
the fact that cultured men today are predominantly gay
the fact that heterosexual men today are predominantly uncultured
the fact that single men have to feel suspect if they're cultured
men who regard women as sex toys
smart middle-aged women who regard uneducated young men as sex toys
middle-aged alpha males with trophy wives
women who praise sensitive men but fall for alpha males
men who demand that their women look like Barbie
women who demand that their men be "financially secure"
crude, lascivious men who leer at women, make jokes about breasts, etc., etc.
hip, contemporary women who leer at men, make jokes about penises, etc., etc.
the comical ineptness of intellectual men in the real world
the shrill fascism of intellectual feminists who denounce our rigid "phallocentric" institutions, like grammar, sex and rocket science
the condescension of older businessmen toward the "little ladies"
women who characterize flirtation as sexual harassment
men who characterize sexual harassment as flirtation
the male double standard: it's OK for men (but not women) to fool around
female double standards: it's OK for women (but not men) to bash the opposite sex, have their own colleges and clubs, whine, let their spouses support them, etc., etc.
the fact that everything ultimately boils down to sex
the fact that sex fuels the egos of people whose egos don't need fueling
kinky sex (isn't "normal" sex kinky enough?)
impotence: nature's way of telling a man he doesn't deserve to get lucky
faked orgasms: woman's way of telling a man he's luckier than he deserves to be
potential lovers who tell you about the "great sex" they had with a previous lover
current lovers who are having "great sex" with somebody else but don't tell you about it
current lovers who are having "great sex" with somebody else and DO tell you about it
the inventiveness of women's excuses for saying no
the inventiveness of men's arguments for persuading a woman to say yes
sexual starvation
watching people who are dorkier than you get all the sex they want
having to practice safe sex
having to practice salesmanship to get sex
the depth of conversations at singles bars
the depth of conversations in online chat rooms
the depth of conversations in most marriages
spats
replays of the same spats
breaking up after making up
being dumped by someone you love
being dumped for your best friend
being dumped for your mate's best friend
being dumped as part of your mate's latest career move
"Can't we just be friends?"
watching your ex-mate get lucky while your heart is still broken
searching for new mate so you have another chance to experience all of the above
the lamentable decline of romance
the unlamented demise of Western Civilization
the survival of tuberculosis bacilli and political parties
big government: a charity funded by legalized extortion
taxation without representation
taxation WITH representation
representative government masquerading as democracy
Washington insiders
dinner parties for Washington insiders
buying an ambassadorship
foreign ambassadors with 137 parking tickets who claim diplomatic immunity
backslappers and palm-greasers
congressmen who sell out to lobbyists
presidents who sell out to lobbyists
lobbyists
political cronies appointed to high office
the politicians who appoint the appointees
political scandals
cover-ups of scandals
press coverage of cover-ups of scandals
the blindness of the press toward JFK's scandals
the bloodlust of the press in covering Nixon's one scandal
candidates for the U.S. presidency since 1960
candidates for local office in every era
selling favors for campaign contributions: political prostitution
making impossible campaign promises: political courtship
committing impeachable offenses: political adultery
being impeached: political divorce proceedings
photo opportunities and sound bites
spin doctors
mudslinging as a viable campaign strategy
pollsters' and psychics' predictions
corporate earnings forecasts
investors who bail out of a company because it earned $1.24 per share instead of $1.26 per share
companies that downsize because they earned $1.24 per share instead of $1.26 per share
the stock market soaring on news of higher unemployment
going on unemployment yourself
mortgages and other long-term, life-sapping obligations, like marriage
divorce
having to pay alimony and child support
not receiving alimony and child support
staying single because you think the other option is even worse
having to think of yourself as "unfit" if you don't propagate your genes
looking at some of the people who DO propagate their genes
watching a billion years of evolution sputter out when you die childless
knowing that all your knowledge and experiences will evaporate when you die
being dead
being embalmed
being displayed at an open-casket funeral
decomposition
eternal damnation
heaven
purgatory ("What's the point?," asked the cynic. "We've already been there.")
reincarnation (damned if I'm taking calculus again!)
past-life regression therapy
aromatherapy
foot reflexology
chakras
auras
spirit channeling
energy vortexes
good karma and bad karma
gurus
false idols
pop idols
the artist formerly known as Prince
the company still known as Microsoft
monopolies
landing on Boardwalk with a hotel on it
not passing "GO"
not winning
not even breaking even
the fact that virtue is rarely rewarded
that the rewards usually go to the wrong people
that good things don't last
that bad things never go away
that nothing you do in this life will matter 10,000 years from now
that nothing you do in this life will matter 10 years from now
that nearly everything you do is dictated by your genes
that you'll never have enough time to do everything you want
that everything declines eventually, including you
the decline of language
the decline of art
the decline of decency
puritanism: lusting to prevent others from lusting
searching for happiness
searching for kindred spirits
searching for love
searching for self-esteem
searching for the meaning of life
searching for a flashlight with live batteries
searching for answers
never finding the answers
not wanting to find the answers
realizing that the answers will always elude you if you search for them
knowing that you're still clueless after all these years
realizing that all the wise men, philosophers and self-help authors were clueless, too
knowing that the world is going to fall apart eventually
not caring if the world falls apart
"whatever"
© 1997-2001 by Rick Bayan.

One thing Freud was right about....

2006-01-17T15:08:00.000-05:00

The Madonna Whore Complex

"More typically in healthy relationships, sex improves
with time and shared experiences. Addictive sex, on the other hand,
wanes with increased knowledge of the other person
because it no longer provides escape from buried feelings."
-- Charlotte D. Kasl, Ph.D. in Women, Sex, and Addiction

Excerpts from dating mail

2006-01-16T16:54:00.001-05:00

Take a look some of the best and worst emails...

1) guess you did'nt like my mug, I liked your's , take care Phil. ( at least hes intelligent)

2)I'm certainly not boring, I am intelligent, have a very good job, I have no criminal record I don't do drugs and best of all I haven't killed anyone either ( great..what about this little problem called your face though?)

3) why not just pretend like we're in some dimly-lit place ( can I barf now?)and we've just exchanged real smiles.
If that were the case I'd probably find out what you're drinking, set us up with a couple, ( a couple of swingers you mean?) then ask you what you do for living, what you find interesting about it. ( what do you think I find interesting about work? answer...fuck all!!)
If I had the impression that you were pretty sound, I might try to find out your favourite colour or something. Who knows? ( Im not sound..thank god)

(This is my favorite email yet...)

4)Going by what I remember of your list.... here goes!
-Confident but not arrogant.... for example, walking into a bar knowing your the best looking there... but just not saying it.
-Dominant but not controlling... Hmmmmm, there is a time and a place to tell eachother what to do.
Emotionally availiable...... Yep, got that covered
Financially Stable..... Define stable please.
Bad in a good way..... is that like "Phat" not "Fat"????? (ha, ha)
And edge....... they don't call me the razor for nothing...(OK, THAT WAS A JOKE...REALLY!!!!)
Leader......... absolutly (don't hold this against me later!)
Strong but not cold.....as every good leader is.
LOYAL.......... no problem....Seriously, hey just cause I'm a guy!!!!
Spontaneous..... Oh boy, likely on the extreme side
Most important... Brains. Well, you'll have to be the judge on that one, I think I'm border line genius... However, bias opinion.
the do not contact list.... I almost pee'd my pants laughing. (you know that just doesn't sound right for a grown man to say!)
Drug addict... nope
Booze.... rye and coke kinda guy, but not every day!
federal convict... let me check and see if my charges were federal !!
Gay... I did kiss a boy once for 20 bucks.. does that count??
Broke.... sometimes Unemployed..... well... Self employed
Valid Drivers licence..check !
Dying...aren't we all??? but not any faster than the next guy.
Fantasizing about under age girls...... You have had some bad lava experiances!
Male Prostitute.... Nope
Hate women.... if I did, then I would have to cuddle with boys.. and that just doesn't paint a pretty picture.
Hate children... If I did, when I read the last line of your profile I likely wouldn't have started this little novel.
Killed someone...... Ya but they totally deserved it.

( Next up the worst conversation in my entire online dating career....)

Him:
You look great and I fit your criteria, but tell me you're not as negative as your prifile seems.
ME:
Im not negative..Im cynical, there's a difference.
HIM:
Good to hear. Yup, there definitely is a difference...Important distinction. Sounds like you have your guard up, too which isn't necessarily a bad thing. As long is it's coming from a good place (good self esteem), I really dig strength and independence in a woman.
Wanna play a little game? I just thought of this. How would you complete this sentence?
[A few/Some/All] men are selfish jerks?
ME:
You ARE kidding me right???
I hope this is a trick question?
Sorry, but in good conscience, I will not answer that question..
I can tell you I do not hate men...is this sufficient?
A "game" for you....
Repeat the word condescending 5 times
Clap your hands
Do a 360 degree spin
Clap your hands again
Hold a head stand for 3 minutes..followed by the splits
Stand up and do the radio dance all the way back to your pc...and then get back to me.
( I actually was so certain he wouldnt be emailing back, when to my astonishment (cough) he proves me wrong)
HIM:
:-) Wow, those were some serious hoops, but I'm back now.
Not trying to be condescending...it's tough to get a feel for somebody online, and the only info I have to go on is a few sentences and a list of "don't"'s. I had to ask, and think it was a fair question.

PS I have to be honest....my coworkers said I only stayed on my head for 2:45.
(damn it I should have ordered him to do a permanent headstand.....)

At Least We Tried

2006-01-14T22:07:00.000-05:00

Attraction Theory

2006-01-13T17:45:00.000-05:00

"People do not attract that which they want, but that which they are."
-Unknown

Me looking healthy before the party..and the poison

2006-01-02T16:39:00.000-05:00

My dear friends Steven, and Leah....

2006-01-01T22:30:00.000-05:00

So much for a "quiet" New Years eve!!!!!

Me and My huney bunny!

2005-12-25T15:50:00.000-05:00

My sister and I having a blast!!

2005-12-25T15:24:00.000-05:00

Me this am

2005-12-24T15:16:00.000-05:00

Last night I went out for a few xmas drinks..stumbled in at 3:30 am, ofcourse I was lonely and wanted to cuddle..so I went and snuck in bed with my son......well 8 am I open my eyes and he has a camera pointed at my face...lol This was the most civilized one of the bunch....
Note: Slept with make-up on... :o

Merry Christmas.....

2005-12-24T13:20:00.000-05:00

Santa Please bring me a man with ....

Bill Gates Money
Donald Trumps Brain
Mark Wahlbergs body
Jfk Jrs face
David Carusos attitude
Gene Simmons sexual skills
Sings like Frank Sinatra
Plays guitar like Stevie Ray Vaughn
thats all.... :)

Having the time of my life!!!!!!!!

2005-12-22T15:25:00.000-05:00

My Little Photographer Takes My Pic!!

2005-12-20T20:34:00.000-05:00

Me and My Main Man!!!!

2005-12-20T20:29:00.000-05:00

Finally happy...

2005-12-19T15:51:00.000-05:00

Its been a hard year for me, maily due to men. I am finally, finally beginning to feel happy for the first time in, well forever. I have taken up guitar lessons, and well I suck right now, but I get to laugh at myself!! I have already decided my first major project will be Fairies Wear Boots...I will learn to play that song before I die!!!! God It may take 20 yrs, but ill learn it..on second thought maybe I should start with Planet Caravan..lol I really admire Randy Rhodes, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Jimi Hendrix, Joe Satriani, Jimmy page, Steve Vai, Johnny Winter, David Coverdale. The funny thing is alot of their music is heavier than I like..but when you listen to music based on guitar playing..this stuff is mind blowing...these guys are in a caliber unknown to most.

I LOVE CHANEL

2005-12-19T15:39:00.000-05:00

Everyone has been asking me "what do you want for xmas" and I have told everyone.....Chanel!!! I got one friend Platinum Chanel for men...Goooooooooood damn the stuff smells like new money!!!!!!! Wow they make THE best perfumes and colognes bar none!!!!!!!!

Depeche Mode...

2005-12-17T12:56:00.000-05:00

I cant believe this..going to budapest to see them!!! God my life is becoming a whirlwind of excitment...either that or im obsessed with martin gore? lol

God....I love Madonna

2005-12-13T14:44:00.000-05:00

Madonna.com

whatever

2005-12-13T01:31:00.000-05:00

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours..but

2005-12-13T00:05:00.000-05:00

I think that God's got a sick sense of humour ...and when I die.....I expect to find him laughing.....

Christmas Alone!!!!

2005-12-11T14:57:00.000-05:00

This is probably only the second christmas I have spent completely single in my life..it feels weird. Instead of shopping for my significant other I bought my own xmas gifts...lol I am even wrapping them how pathetic!!!!! If I hadnt bought myself stuff..I wouldve had nothing to open xmas am... that is so sad..
God I really hate being single in December. Christmas is so much better when you have your boyfriend to cuddle with!!!!!!! guess I wont be dressing up as santas little helper this year lol.. this is lame...can we ffwd to new years eve already? Oh ya..I have no date for that either!!!!!! ok, screw it can I just sleep until may?

2005-12-11T01:10:00.000-05:00

the snow is falling... im thinking of you
the curtain's calling...im loving the new
the wind is blowing...im getting colder
the phone is ringing...ive gotten bolder
nights are longer..when you spend them alone
days seem shorter...when you're turning to stone
heart beats slowly...time and a maze
pulse starts racing.. its all a big haze
life goes on and its always the same
only the names will change
when the credits roll to this empty stage
you were the lead on every page
for every story has an end
every lover considered a friend
no time to be bitter, no room to be sad
you were the best I ever had
the laughs were valiant
the tears were pure
who we are
is part of what we were
life goes on...
like the lines on our face
words will never change
what time cannot erase

A metaphor for my life!!!!!

2005-12-10T02:28:00.000-05:00

Baaaaaah Humbug!!!

2005-12-07T13:29:00.000-05:00

I hate Christmas...
I hate shopping in December
I hate picking out gifts
I hate spending money on people because Im obligated
I hate sitting with relatives I dont know
I hate sitting with relatives I do know
I hate snow
I hate sweaters
I hate Christmas carols
I hate fruit cake
I hate red and green as a pair
I hate candy canes
I hate wrapping gifts
I hate cleaning up wrapping paper
I hate filling out christmas cards
I hate listening to drunk relatives repeat stories about when I was 2 for the 27th year in a row
I hate traditional Christmas trees
I hate the price of decent tree orniments
I hate Christmas elves they are creepy
I hate Santa..because hes a big fat lie
I hate myself for ever believing in Santa
And...last but not least I think Rudolph was a pathetic reindeer who should have been shot in the first scene!!!!
thats all..... :)

New World Order

2005-12-07T12:03:00.000-05:00

Has anyone noticed that this world is subtlely, and simultaneously not so subtlely being infiltrated and dominated by Japan????? Is it just me or..are people severely oblivious to the obvious? Think about that for a second. Then look around you....

Paras kaul is a genious!!!!! Check out this Peace Stream Video...this is revolutionary!!!!

2005-12-01T18:30:00.000-05:00

Peace Streams

Read post below for a more in depth look at what this demiurgic
artist has tapped into!

Art as a State of Mind

2005-12-01T18:22:00.000-05:00

Paras Kaul really lets you know what's on her mind.

While most artists use paint brush on canvas or another medium to get concepts across, Kaul expresses her ideas with a brain-wave interface.

She's been experimenting with the technology for years and appears poised for a breakthrough. Her newest creation, Peace Streams -- a combination of poetry, music, graphics, video and hypnosis technique -- debuts on August 1 at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C.

Kaul's interest in this kind of work was sparked in her teens, during the 1960s. Her father, a psychologist, taught her how to induce altered states of consciousness through hypnosis. After attending the Art Institute of Chicago, Kaul began researching how artists could more easily self-induce an alpha state, that level of consciousness believed to be optimal for creativity.

"It's the best state," Kaul said. "You're so balanced. You're connected with the real world, but with higher consciousness as well."

In creating her work, which has been exhibited at SIGGRAPH and other major graphics shows, Kaul consciously tries to enter an altered state. But she thinks she can go even further.

Attending a recent trade show, Kaul saw a demonstration from IBVA Technologies that let musicians send their brain waves to synthesizers and make music.

Kaul reasoned that this technology –- a headband with three electrodes, connected to a computer which reads and sends brain waves to PCs and other devices -– could be used to create other forms of art, including visual art.

"I knew I had to have that," she said. "And I didn’t even have a computer (at home) at the time."

To create the Peace Streams project, Kaul used an array of Macintosh computers, including a G4 and Titanium. After writing the poem conventionally and typing it into the computer, she turned inward on herself.

Kaul thought about the poem, which in turn produced brain wave images, based on her emotions, that were captured and edited using special software. Separate audio and graphical tracks were composed.

Now they've been remixed for the Kennedy Center performance, said Kaul, where hers will be part of a 60-minute show featuring artists who took part in the Sonic Circuits competition. The "concert," as organizers are calling it, will be free.

With the Kennedy Center show, Kaul's work may finally be hitting the big time. She is preparing a proposal for the National Science Foundation to study learning methods through the use of brain waves. In this, she has a collaborator, William F. Reeder, dean of the College of Visual and Performing Arts at George Mason University.

"Paras is a unique talent," says Reeder. "Using brain waves, the activity of her mind, to create new expression is really innovative. It's a whole new canvas. It's very exciting. It's a way of escaping gravity, so to speak."

Nor will Kaul be done experimenting with brain waves anytime soon. In fact, she considers herself not just an artist, but a "neural artist researcher." Her goal is to work in multimedia education development.

"Some day, we will all be communicating non-verbally," said Kaul. "When that happens, our communications will be much more truthful and emotional."

written by Gene J. Koprowski

2005-11-30T15:11:00.000-05:00

Metaphors by Sylvia Plath

2005-11-30T15:02:00.000-05:00

I'm a riddle in nine syllables.
An elephant, a ponderous house,
A melon strolling on two tendrils.
O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers!
This loaf's big with its yeasty rising.
Money's new-minted in this fat purse.
I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf.
I've eaten a bag of green apples,
Boarded the train there's no getting off.

UPDATE: I got off the train.....

Four Famous Frauds.. Three F's for FFF..uck are we ignorant!!

2005-11-29T14:22:00.000-05:00

Four Famous Frauds

2005-11-24T11:48:00.000-05:00

Men suck.

2005-11-09T18:46:00.000-05:00

My Miserable Life .com

The title says it all.
Dont feel guilty for laughing.
I did, and Im probably going to hell for it.
Then again Ive been on the devils guest list for years..
talk about laughing at someone elses expense.
Using others misfortunes as entertainment.
God Im awful.

Phobia Research Instigates Phobophobia

2005-11-07T14:33:00.000-05:00

Martin Gore, the genious behind the lyrics

2005-11-04T10:11:00.000-05:00

Martin Gore was born to write music.

Nothing

Sitting target
Sitting waiting
Anticipating
Nothing
Nothing

Life
Is full of surprises
It advertises
Nothing
Nothing

What am I trying to do
What am I trying to say
I'm not trying to tell you anything
You didn't know
When you woke up today

Sitting target
Sitting praying
God is saying
Nothing
Nothing

Always
Knows the prospects
Learnt to expect
Nothing
Nothing

The Sentence For Killing Time Is Death

2005-10-28T00:06:00.000-04:00

young and blessed with ignorance
longing to become one of the great
when I grow up..I want to be a doctor
do you remember the day you realized you werent invinsable?
i do
the day reality became jekyl and hyde
it became clear...its all inside...there is nowhere to hide
your tree fort is no longer a sufficient shelter
become life, before it becomes you
this bittersweet fleeting existence is a gift
and theres always a catch
nothing is free, you'll have to pay for that
pay your dues, pay unto thee
its not fair and it doesnt make sense
just do your best
smile and pray for mercy
embrace your regrets
the clock is ticking
the world is waiting, with open arms
all things great, all things evil, all things meaningless, all things meaningful
millions of usless activities designed merely to sedate us
we invite these man made comas
come,,, eat up our precious time
let us throw our hours, our years, and our lives into the abyss
life is "always" right there waiting..waiting like summer waits for spring
waits for spring to do its thing
banish always from the english dictionary
abandon assumptions
one day life will sail on by
our time is up....and how we dared taunt time
the almighty mirage
time-the most underrated, yet fiercely hated illusion

Innocence

2005-10-13T14:26:00.000-04:00

a little morbid?

2005-10-13T14:09:00.000-04:00

Passive aggression

Unspoken threat

impending doom

interference

distortion

slaughter

suffocate

maim

mutilate

distruction

interruption

death of beauty

death of mystery

dead.

PMS...today imploring me to purge morbid thoughts....and doing so at your expense..

apology accepted??????

2005-10-13T13:51:00.000-04:00

"The spectator is a dying animal." - Jim Morrison

2005-10-11T12:51:00.000-04:00

Beck- Everybodys gotta learn sometime..

2005-10-11T12:29:00.000-04:00

Everybodys gotta learn sometime

Everybody Knows...I love Leonard

2005-10-10T22:12:00.000-04:00

Leonard Cohen-Everybody knows

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died

Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long stem rose
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

And everybody knows that it's now or never
Everybody knows that it's me or you
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah when you've done a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton
For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows

And everybody knows that the Plague is coming
Everybody knows that it's moving fast
Everybody knows that the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows

And everybody knows that you're in trouble
Everybody knows what you've been through
From the bloody cross on top of Calvary
To the beach of Malibu
Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Oh everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows

la de da.....

2005-10-07T15:05:00.000-04:00

Okay that last post was too funny. How many people actually tried to decipher that pic? If you did..all I have to say is......You either have too much time on your hands.......OR you are obsessed.

So new subject, well I have decided that I would be the bigger person and send my ex's a small gift along with their christmas card... Check it out....

Christmas Gift for ex

good morning

2005-10-06T10:31:00.000-04:00

vietnammmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!

2005-09-29T14:47:00.000-04:00

Isnt life wonderful? Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I have offically decided to stop romanticizing the idea that anything with a penis is CAPABLE of being LOYAL. That Romeo and Juliette thing..It doesnt exist. This is precisely why Shakespares works became renound, and highly regarded. He gave us all an illusion, an escape from the harsh realities in the land of LOVE. His most famous work was the most far fetched. Wisely he omitted the REAL ending..the way the story would have ended if it were real life. He gave us a dream, and unfortunately our dreams can sometimes be cruel and antagonistic. No life will not immitate art. No man is going to die for you. You'll be lucky if he can keep his eyes in his head, and his dick in his pants. If he does somehow miraculously manage to conquer both of these "tasks" with ease and contentment, it is almost certain he is either mentally challenged, casterated, taking a salt peter diet, or severly brain damaged. I have possibly and I stress POSSIBLY known MAYBE "A" as in ONE as in SINGULAR male who was physically loyal, and very close to being emotionally loyal. But In my 29 years on this planet I have YET to meet a man who's heart is 100% loyal. It may be speculated that I am just unlucky in love, or I am just a horrible person, or I am an unsatisfying lover, or I am "wrong"..and some of this speculation may or may not be correct. However, I am not just referring to the men I have been intimate with I am referring to ALL men I have KNOWN. If one man could prove beyond a reasonable doubt..(I mean the only way would be if he were living like Jim Carrey as Truman) that he were 100% faithful Well I would have to brand him the 8th wonder of the world. I contend that NO MAN is faithful. Guys, look up the meaning of faithful in the dictionary..before you get offended. I am guessing that there are millions of people with millions of different interpretations on the meaning of FAITHFUL. But guess what?! The meaning int he dictionary, is the proper meaning. The dictionary will not debate with you. I challenge even one man reading this to look up the meaning, and then lay claim to 100% loyalty( his heart, and his penis) with a woman at any point in his life for a SUBSTANTIAL ( being years not days) amount of time. Now if this should happen ( God forbid a miracle takes place) There are a few rational explanations for it. One, the guy is in denial, and is totally ignorant to who he is. Two, he is illiterate. Three he is a liar ( far stretch for most men) Four he is Jesus, or is of the belief that he is? Every man has a cheating heart, this is my theory. Yes it is generalizing, stereotyping, and typecasting. I look at it as sort of a census type thing, a statistical approach. I mean if GOD were to show all women the factual stats of cheating men??.. Unleash the cold war baby!! I have male friends who read my blog and guys I apologize , but the truth is ....well the truth is you guys know what the truth is!!

Zombie Zoo

2005-09-26T16:29:00.000-04:00

Well Funny, thing happened this am..in strange relation to my recent obsession with different theories on "addictions". This morning I got up, went to Tim Hortons in zombie mode- Realized at the drive thru that I had forgotten my purse. I was able to dig up about $2 in change..so there I am in a predicament. I am starving, and I need a coffee...which Item do you think I purchased- the coffee or the muffin??????? LOL..... THE COFFEE ofcourse!!!! Ide rather feed my caffine addiction than eat!!!! Thats sickening!!! Also about an hour later while on complete auto pilot was on my way to the store, a store which is in the same plaza as a Tim Hortons...and went into the Tim Hortons instead accidently!!! My brain is programmed to go to Tim Hortons???????!! Everyone says they put "something" in the Tim Hortons coffee...well they do....caffeeine and its just one of many overlooked addictions most of us SHARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Metaphors are all around us....

2005-09-23T22:35:00.000-04:00

"Life Is But A Dream Deciphering the Experiences of Waking Life"
-Tianna Galgano
"Decipher Your Dreams; Decipher Your Life"
This is an amazing book!

Metaphorically Speaking

2005-09-22T15:20:00.000-04:00

metaphors

Linear scales are paths
Emotion is motion
Logic is gravity
Theories are beings with life cycles
Change is motion
Change of state is change of direction
Logical relations are casual relations
Action is self propelled motion
Emotional stability is contact with the ground
Disparity is change
Laughter is a substance
Casual precedence is temporal precedence

Pleasentville

2005-09-21T13:14:00.000-04:00

JUST LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Wheres John Lennon when you need him????? Oh thats right he was killed because he wanted WORLD PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Repeat after me.....LOVE AND PEACE.....LOVE AND PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!I'm assuming I was born in the wrong generation, cause this one sucks!!!!!!!This rat race is a big vortex that is constantly pulling at you trying to suck you into corruption. No one values what is important anymore. I even find myself so easily swayed, and its sickening. Where have all of the good people gone??? They're all in the botomless pit of GREED!!! Thats it im moving to the country, and im going to be poor and just sit around all day picking food from my garden, making homade wine and homeade paper and paint! Im going to live in my pretty little sanctuary and pretned im in Pleasentville, and live in denial. Pretending the world is good.

David Ames

2005-09-20T11:44:00.000-04:00

Whats the answer to 99 out of 100 questions???

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

2005-09-06T19:35:00.000-04:00

Last night I rambled on about addictions.....well It got me thinking. So I went out and bought this book titled "How to break your addiction to a person" By Howard M, Halpern.. Very interesting indeed. This book covers everything from the chemical reactions that are triggered in our brains from certain stimuli to societial views, etc. Its very interesting understanding that we are creatures of habit, and the chemicals in our brains play an enormous role in our evey day decision making, and thought process....I am beginning to feel like a robot and now finally understand why my ex boyfriend mocked life, love, and religion, and was of the strong belief that we are all puppets. Science takes the romance out of life. Science creates the cynic. I suppose ignorance really is bliss. Is it possible to become addicted to a person?? Hmm....sounding eeriely familiar. Throw science, some amazing sex, a huge ego and a little bit of O.C.D in a blender, and see what you get! Its really hard to accept any addiction especially to another person! Deny, deny, deny!!!! It can't be!!!! No way not ME!!! Well I am going to read this wonderful book this evening in an effort to validate my denial!!!

2005-09-05T19:57:00.000-04:00

Nomatter how cliche, and unorigional it may be....I will always love looking at Marilyn Monroe. She was beauty at its best.

2005-09-03T19:58:00.000-04:00

Last night was an absolute blast!

Its a beautiful day......dont let it get away.....

2005-09-01T10:27:00.000-04:00

Well, I have been somewhat neglegent in my posting lately. So I thought I would drop a few lines this am. These blogs are highly narcissistic ( and I am not looking up the spelling on that one) Who in the hell do us bloggers think we are to actually assume anyone gives a shit about our lives??? Anyway, let me bask in my arrogance for just a moment. Humor me. So whats on my mind?? Well I have been asking myself for a long time "what do I want"??? The million dollar question. How is it that I expect to get what I want when I dont even know what exactly that is? Okay everyone says " I just want to be happy" How repulsively cliche. What the hell is happiness?? Happiness is a matter of perception. Whenever someone asks me "what is happiness to you?" I have caught myself replying with the same cliche lines as the next guy. But look deeper for a moment. Take some time to sit there in the dark, in the quiet, be still and think about it. WHAT DO I WANT?!!!! When you have figured out the answer, move on to the next question "HOW DO I GET IT" when you figure that out...move on to question number three, "HOW DO I KEEP IT"? And after all of this is done and your sitting there with all that you thought you wanted ( if you dare be so lucky) ...then comes question number four "NOW THAT I HAVE WHAT I WANT DO I STILL WANT IT???? For me the answer would inevitably be "NO" I mean I am never satisfied..is anyone? What fun would life be if we had all that we wanted?? Where would our dreams then be? The best part about life is what we imagine it could be. The greatest gift we were given was imagination.
Life is a big fat joke, Im telling you. God must have no time to do anything but laugh.. The only thing we need to do is learn to be good. I know, easier said then done and im living proof..however, at the end of the journey the only thing you take and the only thing you will leave behind is your integrity. And how ironic?? Don't we all know just too well, how utterly challenging it is to live this life resisting the temptations that compromise our integrity? My conclusion, He who reaches his last day with his integrity intact has beaten the world at its own game..now that's success....

2005-08-30T02:57:00.000-04:00

hellllloo!!!!

2005-08-22T13:52:00.000-04:00

This is the BEST movie I have seen in a looooong time!!!!!!!!!!

2005-08-22T13:50:00.000-04:00

Clive Owen Is such a doll!!!!!

2005-08-16T13:18:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine redid the color in this pic using an apple photo program. I think I want a mac....lol Cool color!

2005-08-12T21:33:00.000-04:00

My surgery is done!!! what a day...nothing like a morphine buzz...lol

2005-08-08T22:25:00.000-04:00

meeeeeee a little narcissistic today??

2005-08-07T21:05:00.000-04:00

meeeee

2005-08-07T21:01:00.000-04:00

my little man

2005-08-06T23:00:00.000-04:00

little guys feet cute!

2005-08-06T22:58:00.000-04:00

owens footprints

2005-08-06T22:56:00.000-04:00

me at the beach!!!!!

Using photoshop to map out paintings

2005-08-05T09:40:00.000-04:00

I use photoshop as a brainstorming tool for paintings. This program can be a curse..or a blessing. It somewhat takes the "romance" out of the traditional way of painting abstract peices. Creating digital art is definately the lazy mans opera. Nevertheless, it has proven to be a much more diabolical approach. Not sure if any of these concoctions are worth bringing to canvas??????? By the way this site "fotoflix" I used to present this slide is amazing. You get 10 mb of FREE space, and can add music in mp3 format. Also, if you want it posted on your blog they do it for you! No messing around with html codes, or copying and pasting!

Quotes to live by

2005-07-31T12:41:00.000-04:00

"You can have power over people as long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power."
-ALEKSANDR I. SOLZHENITSYN

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."
-GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER

"The person that loses their conscience has nothing left worth keeping."
-IZAAK WALTON

"Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it."
-JOAN VINGE

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."
-IVY BAKER PRIEST

"No one, Eleanor Roosevelt said, can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it."
-MARIAN WRIGHT EDELMAN

"Truth is generally the best vindication against slander."
-ABRAHAM LINCOLN

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."
-ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

"Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will."
-FREDERICK DOUGLASS

"No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious."
-GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

"A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for."
-MARTIN BUBER

"It is not the possession of truth, but the success which attends the seeking after it, that enriches the seeker and brings happiness to him."
-WILL DURANT

This is my daily prayer....This is why I love Leonard Cohen, for this very poem which I have read and found solace in durng my darkest hours.-

2005-06-13T15:23:00.000-04:00

" BLESSED ARE YOU WHO, among the numberless swept away in terror, permitted a few to suffer carefully. Who put a curtain over a house so that few could lower their eyes. Blessed be Ishamel, who taught us how to cover ourselves. Blessed are you who dressed the shivering spirit in a skin. Who made a fence of changing stars around your wisdom. Blessed be the teacher of my heart, on his throne of patience. Blessed are you who circled desire with a blade, and the garden with firey swords, and heaven and earth with a word. Who, in the terrible inferno, sheltered understanding, and keeps her still, beautiful and deeply concealed. Blessed are you who sweetens the longing between us. BLESSED BE YOU WHO BINDS THE ARM TO THE HEART, AND THE WILL TO THE WILL. Who has written a name on a gate that she might find it, and come into my room. Who defends a heart with strangerhood. Blessed are you who sealed a house with weeping. Blessed be Ishamel for all time, who covered his face with the wilderness, and came to you in darkness. Blessed be the covenant of love between what is hidden and what is revealed. I was like one who had never been caressed, when you touched me from a place in your name, and dressed the wound of ignorance with mercy. Blessed is the covenant of love, the covenant of mercy, useless light behind the terror, deathless song in the house of night." Leonard Cohen- Book Of Mercy.